small pieces of peace

James Neill
Last updated:
22 Mar 2003


what if we bore flowers?

30,000 American Troops carried 3 billion Dollars of Flowers across the Iraqi borders today as a sign of peace.  They then joined with the Iraqi troops in praying to Allah.  The Iraqi troops then joined with the American troops and prayed to God.  Then then shared a simple meal together of bread and water.  And a long-awaited process of peace got underway.


this is all very bad

i liken to this war to extracting a wisdom tooth
 - a painful process that probably isn't worth the effort
 unless you've got a very good anaesthetic,
 a very good surgeon,
 and very good aftercare

but in this war, there is no anaesthetic,
 the surgeon's qualifications are doubtful,
 and the required aftercare is inestimable


children-shhh!  look here!

boys, you have been playing with all the toys lately and making everyone cry -- Saadaam, yes I'm talking about you and you George, I'm talking about you, Tony, come back over here, sit down - and uh, oh, yes youuuu Johnnie Howard, c'm back here

righto girls, get ready for your turn.  Spice Girls, Dixie Chicks, girls wherever you are, here you go, your turn.  the boys can sit and watch for a while.  Saadaam give that girl under the under the veil over there your oil and those chemicals, George you give Posh Spice all that military stuff, geez, where did you get all that from?  [raised eyebrows]....uh....Tony...Tony, give your green stuff to...uh...Dame Edna for a while, and you, Johnniee Howard, c'mere you little ratbag, give your stuff to Natasha so she can have a turn.

righto sit down here boys, there you go, and let's watch for a while and see what happens.  nuh-uh, no playing with your willies, just watch, ok?

ok - the girl from under the veil is sounds like a song of sorrow and sadness and fear....oh....she's saying here you go, come and have our oil, but please, please leave us in peace, it hasn't been very much fun here at times, but could you find a better way of helping us than dropping all these bombs everywhere.......

Posh Spice says well, i dunno, let's see, what if I put all my military bits over here in this corner, I come over, talk to you about it and we can see how we could help each other out without getting silly about it.  Dame Edna says yes, what a great idea, and so does Natasha, they go along too, along with some caring friends. 

They have a little party and the girl from under the veil takes the others around and explains what is happening in her country.  Posh Spice says I'll take this  info away and talk to my people.  he then brings back more people to have a first-hand, honest look at the Iraqi situation and they call on some of the best minds and they talk to the people about what they want.  this information is then explained to all the people and they tell the leaders whether this is what they want, and then all the girls agree on the best solution. 

The girl from under the veil feels so good about the newfound generosity of the people around her that she also takes into account their needs and gives them good access to the oil they need, although they all acknowledge that it is a finite resource and that in the building of a new era of international cooperation, they will work together on training and employing people who will develop alternative fuel methods for the future; the girls don't quite agree on everything, especially if you start talking religion, but hey, that's life, everyone's a bit different, eh?

ok, your turn again, boys, see how you go...